How to Actually Water Your Plants (Without Killing Them on a Schedule)
- Lynn Adkison
- 3 days ago
- 8 min read
I have a friend who has some issues - validly so, and nobody is judging her for having them. That said, she is very against medication, and part of the reason is the plethora of terrible experiences she’s had with them over the years. But, when you have someone with bipolar disorder who also has ADHD and anxiety, and you add to that combination that they are only managing their illnesses with medical marijuana for the anxiety, sometimes things go sideways.
Anyone who has a past in software knows what a fickle business it is. It seems like the only suite of “real jobs” that are completely misunderstood by most of the populace, undervalued and incessantly replaced by emerging technologies, and terribly mismanaged by humans who have been, as we like to say, promoted to their highest level of incompetence. It’s like the whole industry is trying to cannibalize itself at every moment for the sake of the next best thing.
That leads to an industry full of overworked, incredibly stressed out people, who also usually are of above average intelligence and have some sort of social disorder at minimum. Being behind a computer screen shields you from needing to have face-to-face interactions with others, so being introverted or anxious or happier with your own company is actually a pro in this one industry.
The people are not all what you’re imagining - a human sitting in their mom’s basement at 35 with pimples on their face eating pizza rolls (although that does happen). More often than not, they’re moms and dads and they have extracurricular activities and lives outside of work, same as with any other industry. The major difference is that everyone associated with technical work - at least from a hands-on perspective - MUST be able to “see” things in their minds that they cannot see in front of them. It’s an “invisible” field producing products you can interact with and also have absolutely no clue how they work.
So my friend is a Senior Software Product Manager, which is a VERY “must understand invisible things” job that also requires a hefty side of “must be able to communicate with people who communicate poorly” and “must be able to manage up and manage down”, sometimes simultaneously. It’s very stressful, time-consuming, and could take up your entire life without you realizing it.
It’s also a position that frequently gets laid off as old products are deprecated and new products are born.
This particular friend is amazingly smart, always coming up with new and creative solutions to issues, and has a great sense of humor that she bestows upon those in her orbit. She’s pretty amazing. And she has dreamed of starting her own business for many years.
Every time she has gotten laid off (4 times in the last 6 years), she has attempted to start a new business or continue with one she started in a previous work lull. Each time, especially the last two times, she has ended up destitute, so close to losing a vehicle or a house or an (insert thing central to your life here) that it is terrifying - and not just for her.
For years, I’ve been the friend who tries to help when situations like this arise. I tried offering financial assistance, I actually checked her into a mental institution once because she was so low I was worried she’d harm herself, and I tried reaching out to my network on her behalf looking for open positions after a layoff, firing, quitting, etc. All of those were top-down fixes, applied with urgency. And not a single one of them actually fixed anything.
This time, I decided to try something different.
I took 4 days out of my life, and I went down to visit her with a homemade Kanban board (think index cards that move from “to do” to “in progress” to “done” with a space for “blockers” that helps with organization and visualization of work that must be done). This particular board was not exactly the same as the ones you could find in SaaS (software as a service) manual, but it was kind of funny (WTF, FML, MFR, FYEAH) and was intended to help her visualize her life after this last layoff.
My goal was not to FIX the issue for her, but instead to assist in kick-starting her brain back into “can do” mode - as opposed to having it stagnate in fight-or-flight.
Before I left, though, I had to kind of…think ahead a little about my own stuff. Does the SO have enough microwaveable food to live for 4 days? Do the dogs have enough toys to keep them occupied? Do the plants feel heavy enough to sustain themselves for the duration of my trip?
A lot of people water on a schedule. You hear about it in groups and on Reddit, older ladies showing off their prized plant with a “I water every Saturday like clockwork”.
But here’s the issue: a schedule assumes every day is the same. And, well, they’re not. Some Saturday mornings are quiet and calm; others you hear a crash and realize a mirror fell off a wall in the bathroom. The same is true for the weather - like the adage says, “If you don’t like the weather in (enter Southern state name here), just wait, it’ll change.”
Some days are rainy and dark; some days the AC is cranking and drying out the air in the spare room; and some days you have “high fire risk” conditions, even when it’s not that hot and it looks absolutely gorgeous outside. If you’re watering because your phone gave you a notification, you aren't "tending"—you’re just ticking a box. And that box-ticking is a death sentence.
If you’re going on a trip, like I was, then the first step is figuring out which plant(s) need to be watered.
How do you know when your plants need to be watered?
Step 1: Get Dirty
Before you do anything else, you absolutely must get your hands dirty. Stick your finger in the dirt—not just the surface, but a good two inches down. That’s almost to the second knuckle, for those of you who’ve been told a couple of inches is really six for the bulk of your adult life.
If the soil feels cool and damp or if your finger comes back with particulates stuck to it, walk away. If, instead, it feels like the dust bunnies living under your refrigerator, it’s time to water. Your fingers never lie.
I know a lot of people have started using moisture meters as a way to help them know when it’s time to water. But here’s the issue: a moisture meter is a "mood ring" that can be fooled by chunky soil or a bit of bark. Your skin, on the other hand, knows the difference between "moist" (shudder) and "the Sahara."
Step 2: Weigh Your Options
Once you’ve used your finger to confirm she’s dry, pick up the pot. Feel that weight. I would suggest doing this even if your finger said the substrate was plenty moist - because you have to feel the difference between a "Drowned Brick" and a "Styrofoam Cup" a few dozen times before you’ve got the weights down pat.
The Heavy Pot: Feels sort of like you just picked up a laundry basket with winter-wear in the bottom of it. Heavier than you thought it would be when you noticed the hamper was half-full.
The Light Pot: Feels hollow, like a styrofoam cup with nothing in it. If you pick it up and almost toss it through the ceiling because it’s lighter than you expected, that’s the signal.
Before I left for four days, I did both of these, and then I made some executive decisions. Firstly, I picked everything that it was time to water, and secondly, I picked things that weren’t QUITE ready, but that would definitely be long before I got back. Yes, it does leave me open to rot on those plants; that said, it’s more likely they’d be drooping and dying by the time I got back than that they’d be rotted. Part of that is because of the conditions I have set up in the spare room greenhouse, and part of it is because of the method I chose to DO the watering.
The Mechanics: Top vs. Bottom Watering
You know the plant is actually thirsty: how do you give her a drink?
Top Watering: If your plant were actually living in the tropics, it would get rained on every so often. And that’s good for it! It flushes out the salts and the buildup that naturally happens over time. That said, if your soil has become hydrophobic, the water just runs down the sides and leaves the middle (where the roots are) bone-dry.
Bottom Watering: The tropics are generally moist. That doesn’t just mean the humidity in the air - there’s almost always some water in the topsoil. Which means the roots are used to having some moisture that they can just pull from at will. Bottom watering is like that. Set your clear liner in a tray of water and let her "chug" from the bottom. It ensures the core of the root ball actually gets a drink.
The "Greenhouse" Verdict: I do both. I top-water to keep the soil fresh, and I bottom-water when I know she’s been working hard and needs a deep soak. But for heaven’s sake, touch the dirt first.
Knowing I’d be out of town for a while, in this instance I chose bottom watering. Why? Because it allows the roots to get a good soak, so if they get dried out because my SO left the fan on too long, or because the “high fire danger” conditions out of doors get brought inside while carpet is being replaced or the dogs are coming in and out, or if they just get dry because it’s been long enough that they’re thirsty again, then they’re at least as happy as possible beforehand.
The Drainage “Secret”
Of note: a handy thing I do after either watering method is pretty simple but also pretty indispensable.
I put beach towels down all over the floor - if you follow our socials you may have seen them.
Why? Because whichever method of watering you choose on watering day (one that’s not scheduled but necessary), there’s going to be excess. Most pots hold a little water in the bottom, and if you just drop them back into their cache pot, then the cache pot is going to be holding a little water in the bottom, effectively making the plant sit in its own tiny bathtub for however long it takes for the water to evaporate.
And that, my friends, creates rot. We don’t want that, and we certainly did not want it before we drove six hours to spend two days being super stressed and having tough conversations only to drive six more hours back home. We wanted happy, healthy - and probably thirsty - plants when we got back.
On Misting: Don’t.
Misting does approximately nothing for humidity — the droplets evaporate before they do any meaningful work — and what it does do is leave water sitting on the leaves long enough to invite fungal issues. If you want humidity, get a humidifier. It’s pretty simple. I’d also suggest a hygrometer so you know just how much humidity you’re pumping into your room.
Ready to practice on something worth keeping? Everything in the shop ships Greenhouse Approved — acclimated, in a clear liner, ready for you to actually learn what “light” feels like.
P.S. Plants when I got home: completely fine except that one Alocasia Cucullata I somehow missed before I left. Friend when I got home: Results are still TBD.
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