What Happens When a Plant Person Leaves the House for Cigarettes?
- Lynn Adkison
- Mar 11
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 16
I left for cigarettes. That was it. It's a bad habit, I know, but that's not the point here. Focus people. LOOK at this?!?
I swear I was just going to the gas station at the end of the block. I was on the phone with a friend who's been having a tough time lately - love life, work life, mid-life and just in general life - so I knew I had to replenish the self-soothing cigarette stores. Off I went, AirPods in, chatting away.
Three. Hours. Later. I get home with this.
So what had happened was: I knew as soon as I left the gas station that the conversation was far from over, so I thought, "I'll just run to Home Depot and wander the Garden Center while we chat." The convo still wasn't completed after that stop (where I did not purchase anything, thank you very much), so I thought, "Maybe I'll just run by Lowe's really quickly..."
Long story short, 2.25 hours of conversation and three plant centers elapsed before I made it back home, $100 poorer and with a vow to myself that THIS IS IT for a while.
The Yard Garden Awakens (Whether I'm Ready or Not)
The bulbs were VERY close to the seeds, so it really isn't my fault. Two types of Asiatic lily bulbs (a mixed pack and 'Landini' -- the dark burgundy-black ones, which I will not apologize for), plus an Oriental lily mix. These are going in the front of the house around the bushes. They're perennials. They'll come back every year. It's not an impulse purchase, it's a home beautification investment, and I will not be accepting further questions at this time.
The seeds and starts followed their own logic. I was already looking at bulbs, which were next to the onion sets, and I love onions, so those needed to come along. Then we were in the seed aisle anyway - lima beans, cantaloupe, zucchini, a culinary herb collection, bunching onions...and of course while I was thinking about the Yard Garden I needed to get the staple starters - six cabbages, two gigante jalapenos, and a couple of grape tomatoes that had TWO to a pot for $5. That's practically me stealing them.
The cyclamen were on clearance and are going into the front porch pots to keep the blueberries company - and for color contrast. They'll absolutely thrive there, because clearance cyclamen are just regular cyclamen who had a rough week.
At least half of this is edible. That's for sure worth noting.
And it's an exercise plan, because I have to clean out and till the Yard Garden before I can plant them. Can't let the vegetables die. Technically vegetables count as spending money to save money, because edible. So really, it's financially responsible.
(Also: nobody - and I mean nobody - likes to bend over and pick butterbeans. Stakes are going in. Garden twine is happening. We're doing this right.)
And Then There Were the Rescues
Ficus elastica 'Tineke' - $9. Five stalks. For nine dollars. They typically run $25-$45. She was just sitting there on the clearance rack like, "Today is the worst". You know what I mean? Looking slightly sorry for herself like she didn't know what she did to deserve this fate? So, she's currently in The Ward for a proper Soft Landing and then we'll discuss the future.
Peperomia obtusifolia variegata - $7. Baby rubber plant. Wasn't even really sad, just dramatically under-watered and in need of some TLC. So fine really. Just like my friend. She's already under the grow lights (and away from anybody else because it's just too soon to make new friends). But she looks more optimistic about life, so that's a plus.
If you're new here: I don't pass clearance racks. It's a character trait.
The pineapple in the back of the photo has been here a while. Some of you know the story. The rest of you can go read it here.
The bell pepper next to it overwintered inside this year and is allegedly ready for spring. We'll see. I'll report back.
I didn't intend to start the Yard Garden today. I didn't plan any of today, honestly. But my friend needed someone to stay on the phone, and I needed to keep moving, and somehow the yard is getting lilies this year and two more plants found their way into the right house.
There are worse ways to spend a Wednesday.
The Tineke and the peperomia are currently in The Ward. The lilies go in the ground this weekend if it doesn't rain, which it absolutely will, because that's how this works. Updates to follow.
You might also like:
The Two-Year Guest: A Lesson in Reluctant Patience — the pineapple story
What Is a Soft Landing? — how new plants get acclimated here before going anywhere
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