Monstera Albo | High Maintenance

Every time I look at this thing I think to myself, “How did I get so lucky to have something so beautiful!” And then I remember it’s going to die if conditions aren’t perfect, and it may die even then if it keeps pushing out all white leaves. So, there’s that.

It really is a GORGEOUS plant. Not for a beginner, but the kind of plant you expect to find in a botanical garden with a botanist hovering over it trying to figure out exactly how it works so he can make seven more just like it. I stop every time I’m near it just to look, touch the white leaves, admire it.

This little stunner is the Holy Grail of high maintenance, though. High white ghost leaves mean silica is mandatory, not just nice, lighting is much closer to the indoor equivalent of full sun than it is of part sun because those tiny baby leaves are doing so much overtime, and humidity levels that never drop below 50 percent. (Yes, it has been below that here, and yes, the plant let me know it was unhappy.)

If you’re a collector who genuinely has the patience for this sort of plant, then I highly recommend. It’s got great roots, is pushing out new (white) leaves regularly, and is still, against all odds, growing like a champion. With the right conditions, it could continue to do so for a very long time.

This plant is currently living in a 3.5" clear liner to accommodate its luscious root system. It’s potted in my signature 'Not Dirt' substrate—I won't sell the mix to you because it’s a hot mess to make, but the plants clearly love the drama of it.

I’ve vetted these beauties to ensure they’re healthy and happy, but I can’t guarantee what they’ll do once they leave my greenhouse. If I could control nature, I’d be a wizard, and I’d probably have a much cooler hat. 🧙‍♂️