Monstera 'Cobra' | Satisfyingly Fast

This one’s called a Cobra by most folks, and I think it has something to do with how the leaf comes out and the sheath stays put. It means there’s this hood that just hangs onto the petiole and doesn’t turn brown like they do on a lot of Monsteras.

What nobody tells you though is that these babies GROW. Fast. Satisfyingly so. 

But they have them at Lowe’s for super cheap! Yeah, yeah. Here’s the thing. They’re crammed into a tiny pot and not doing the best, right? You’re gonna get it home and it’s going to freak out. You know it. I know it. We know it. It. Is. Known. 

These, on the other hand, have been separated, acclimated (e.g. babied through their version of the tweenage years), and trained on a hoop. I did it initially because the hoop saved me some space. I kept up with it because it looks pretty cool. 

But what do I do when the trellis is full?!?!?!? I mean, I’m not the boss of you or anything, but if it were me, I’d cut the top off of it, prop it in water, and make yourself a new plant. When it outgrows the liner it’s in, you have the option of just up-potting or of up-potting both the plant and the trellis.

As far as you know, this plant could be your next two or three plants. You’ve just gotta give one a chance.

This plant is currently living in a 3.5" clear liner to accommodate its luscious root system with a 15" bamboo hoop. It’s potted in my signature 'Not Dirt' substrate—I won't sell the mix to you because it’s a hot mess to make, but the plants clearly love the drama of it.

I’ve vetted these beauties to ensure they’re healthy and happy, but I can’t guarantee what they’ll do once they leave my greenhouse. If I could control nature, I’d be a wizard, and I’d probably have a much cooler hat. 🧙‍♂️