Philodendron Birkin | Likes Light

It’s not a plant. It’s a Birkin. That’s the whole joke, and if you’re too young to get the joke, please don’t tell me about it because you’re going to make me feel ancient.

So the Birkin. They used to be SO freaking popular. They lost some of that popularity because (drumroll please) people don’t take care of them appropriately. This lady likes light. I mean, a lot of light. 14 hours of a serious plant light - not one of those little LED hook-on things.

What you get for that, though, is variegation that you literally cannot get on any other plant I’m aware of. IT HAS TEXTURE. You can run your fingers over it and hear your grandmother’s wood paneling sort of texture. (Again, if you’re too young to have a grandmother with wood paneling - shhhhhhhh.)

Anyway, this is a great plant. Everyone should still want one just like everyone used to back in the good old days. If you’re feeling nostalgic and willing to get a good grow light, you won’t be disappointed.

This plant is currently living in a 6" clear liner to accommodate its luscious root system. It’s potted in my signature 'Not Dirt' substrate—I won't sell the mix to you because it’s a hot mess to make, but the plants clearly love the drama of it.

I’ve vetted these beauties to ensure they’re healthy and happy, but I can’t guarantee what they’ll do once they leave my greenhouse. If I could control nature, I’d be a wizard, and I’d probably have a much cooler hat. 🧙‍♂️