Philodendron Hope | aka The Unpronouncable (Thaumatophyllum bipinnatifidum)

I like this plant—I really do. It’s got those massive, ruffled, "I’m in a tropical rainforest" leaves that everyone wants. But here’s the thing nobody tells you until you’re tripping over them: they have no sense of personal boundaries. This plant thinks it owns my greenhouse, and frankly, it’s winning the territory war.

This specific one is currently living in a 12" plastic "decorative" grower's pot that's supposed to look like it's made of wood but absolutely does not look like that at all...because that’s what was within arm’s reach when it decided to outgrow its last home. It’s healthy, it’s aggressive, and it’s pushing out new growth like it’s being paid by the leaf. You can see a new one in the pics.

I've been trimming back the older growth just to be able to walk past it. I took some photos of it and realized it’s reaching for the light so hard it’s basically trying to crawl out the front door. I’m 5’10” and this thing hits me at the knee—it’s not a desktop plant, it’s a 'clear the living room' plant.

If you have a big corner that looks empty and sad, this is your solution. It will fill that space, and then it will probably try to fill the space next to it. It’s sturdy, it’s unbothered by a draft, and it’s currently in my 'Not Dirt' mix—which it is trying to consume entirely.

I’m pricing this to move because I’d like to be able to walk across my floor again without doing parkour. I'm too old for that crap.

The Wizard/Hat Disclaimer applies here, too. I can’t control how big it gets in your house, but don’t say I didn't warn you about the footprint. If I could control nature, I’d be a wizard, and I’d probably have a much cooler hat. 🧙‍♂️