“Ears” at the top - very pronounced lobes, sitting high and perky - that flow down into a slimmer waistline and then pooch out near the end in a way that anyone would immediately recognize as the “booty” of the leaf. Let's talk about them.

I did one of my "should probably be infamous by now" went to the store for birthday cards and came home with another plant. Obviously. And this one is...a little worse for wear.

Did you know the Philodendron joepii was discovered in the wild because a guy named Joep Moonen thought it looked like it had been eaten by bugs? It's one of the rarest-looking shapes in the plant world, so when I found a pot with two of them in it near Gainesville, I just had to have it.