Almost Dead Philodendron White Wizard: ONLY $19.98

I did one of my "should probably be infamous by now" went to the store for birthday cards and came home with another plant. Obviously. And this one is...a little worse for wear.

This was seriously sitting on a shelf in Walmart's Garden Center...

No discount, no shame. Mixed in among the other plants like it was no big deal.

Let's start at the beginning. I needed birthday cards - one from me and one from the dogs - for my SO whose birthday is today. I also needed a Boston Butt, baked beans, garlic bread, and a couple of other pieces to ensure I have enough food on hand today to feed 4 late teen/early twenty-somethings, the two of us, and my MIL.

Basically, there was a purpose for the trip.

I don't know about you, but I cannot go into a store that has a Garden Department and not GO INTO the garden department. I've had days where I didn't buy anything (not many, but some), but there hasn't been a single time I haven't at least gone IN. This day was no exception.

Our area Walmart SuperCenter actually sometimes has a decent houseplant selection. I counted five or six Thai cons of various sizes, a few Philodendron Pink Princesses, some Dracaena, almost every variety of Pothos I can think of offhand (which isn't nearly all of them, mind you), and a decent variety of succulents and palms. It looked like I had gotten there not TOO long after a delivery. Cool.

As I'm wandering around, I notice this plant sitting amidst the rest of the offerings, limp, falling over, and generally looking like death warmed over. A couple of shelves over, I found an Alocasia in a similar boat. Me being, well, me, I picked them both up, then found an employee to ask about them. (Being addicted to plants doesn't mean that I will pay full price for half dead ones, after all.)

The lady I first approached told me she was unable to help with my request, and she pointed me in the direction of a man walking with a purpose in a yellow vest. A man who, after making eye contact with me, diverted to a completely different side of the Patio & Garden Department and promptly disappeared like a magician, waving his hands. The lady - who watched this exchange - also attempted to stop him, but he just waved at yet another employee and kept walking while muttering unintelligible (to me) instructions.

The third human, once he was done helping another customer and checking out two more, finally was able to turn his attention in my direction, whereupon I found he had absolutely no idea whether the plant was on clearance, if he could mark it down, or even how to do such a thing. So, he and his female counterpart - the OG helper in the story - got on their phones trying to reach someone who could assist.

All the while, both of them are telling me how SORRY they are. They're telling me THEY sure wouldn't pay $20 for these plants. If it were up to THEM, they'd just give them to me. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

I'd like to point out at this juncture that all of the humans I encountered at this establishment's Patio & Garden Department were working ... well, presumably anyway ... in that department. Not a single one of them seems to know the first thing about a plant, and one of them even poured some water in one of the pots after I mentioned part of the problem was likely that they were darned near crispy with lack of watering.

Eventually, someone showed up who could do something, and a while after that, she actually DID do something. The $19.98 plants were marked down to $10. I purchased the one but not the other, as, honestly, the Alocasia was super iffy, even for me.

And now here we are. Nursing yet another plant that was neglected back to health, slowly but surely.

The Soft Landing - Wizard-Style

My first order of business for this plant was to get some water in the kitchen sink, add some fertilizer (yep, that fertilizer) and some Spinosad and mosquito bits...for good measure. That needed to steep some, so I just set it by the sink, looking like Raggedy Ann's lost companion the 'Wobbly' White Wizard.

Skip forward a bit, and I was finally able to put the plant into the prepared mix. When I say it was dry, I mean...it floated. It was SO top-heavy that the bottom of the pot literally just would not sit in the water. I had to manually top water with some of the mix in order to get it heavy enough to even start the absorption process. As you can imagine, I gave it longer than I normally would to soak.

So far, aside from a leaf wipe-down and segregation (with the other two plants I may or may not have bought on the same day), this plant is just going to relax. It needs quite a bit more TLC than my normal rescues. Because of its sad state, the acclimation phase will likely go on quite a while. Maybe more than a couple of weeks.

And that's okay. I am hopeful, seeing the progress we've made so far. If he's not exactly "healthy and ready to hit the shelves," he has perked up quite a bit since his introduction, I think.

Showing scars from the trauma, but also beginning to put out some new growth.

Existing leaves no longer drooping to the base of the pot after some food and water.

The discovery of two stalks inside the single, 4" pot, explaining part of the issue.

As he is perking up - and standing back up - I have had the pleasure to notice that this particular White Wizard is co-potted. There are two stalks in a fairly small pot - it's only a 4". Now, there are a lot of ways to co-pot plants. And they work in most cases.

That said, if you put two decently-sized plants in one pot and then stress them to the point of near death, you're asking for trouble. They're competing for nutrients, space, and water at a time when they are already are struggling to keep themselves alive and upright.

So the next step for these two will certainly be a separation. Now that they are firmer-stemmed and standing up on their own, it's safe to do so. I will have to be more careful than normal when separating the roots, as one of them is quite a bit smaller than the other and I don't want to harm either of them further. Once I manage that, I can decide what size pot each plant actually needs to be in, put them in some Not Dirt with systemic granules, and then let them continue their journey back to health in peace.

Want to know exactly how I approach a rescue like this one? The full Soft Landing process is outlined here — it's what every plant that comes through this greenhouse goes through, including our wobbly White Wizard friend.

Get the Soft Landing Guide

OR

If you're ready for a Philodendron that's already been through it and come out the other side:

Shop Philodendrons. Ones that don't need rescuing.